Colombiana

My cousin and I rushed to the theater Thursday night to catch a showing of Colombiana, the new movie with Zoe Saldana. I write her name without the ñ because I think at this point she's given up about it and doesn't want to confuse people by making her name different. I do wonder wether she still pronounces the ñ though.

The flick is visually appealing, and like many action films, it does have a scene or two that makes you think "Yea, Right.". The premise: young Cataleya in Colombia witnesses her parents death. She manages to escape and grows up to become a beautiful and hot assassin. At some point she gets involved with Michael Vartan, who has made a career out of being "the boyfriend" to strong women. I still dislike his not pretty self. Finally, cornered by police and bad guys, Cataleya does she does best: kill.

I don't want to ruin anything. The biggest WTF moment happen at the beginning, but after that, its pretty good. Some of her fight scenes at the end are hella hot and inventive. Zoe is believable, I think, in her role of killer, and the death of the uber bad guy is satisfying. As a "dont think, but enjoy the next hour and a half" movie I think it does very well. I hope the movie kills at the box office so that Zoe can keep getting good and juicy role.

Battle Royale

So an acquaintance of mine says that The Hunger Games is a ripoff from some other book. I decide to make that decision on my own. Enter Battle Royale.

Initially a movie in the late 90's, the story was so popular it was turned into a Manga and later novelized. When I began reading I had to take into account that I was reading a translation but let me say, that even after thinking about that, the writing sucks.

I mean it, like its really bad. I'm sure the movie is fast paced and entertaining, but "knowing what the characters are thinking" doesn't help this at all. Here's the premise: its the future, Japan has turned into a socialist republic with a dictator. In order to help "the military" the government has instituted a Program. Every year one random junior high class is chosen, and its 40 plus students are dropped off in an island where they must fight each other to the death, til there's only one standing.

So far, yes, somewhat familiarly to The Hunger Games. But also somewhat familiar to Gladiators, and thunderdome (two enter, one comes out!) Population knows about the Program, but anyone that dares speak out is killed.

What I couldn't stand about Battle Royale was that the dialogue, if it was following the movie word for word, does not work in a book. Not to mention that someone kept thinking that 15 year olds could only be preoccupied about their crushes. The bad girls all had prostituted themselves. The bad boy didn't have any feelings. It was just stereotype after stereotype - ten times worse than Twilight, if there's such a thing.

I read all the way through though, to make sure I got it all, and I'll admit the plot is somewhat clever. The writers attempted to make the story about something more than murder with their dialogue, hut I felt like i was being hit on the head or something.

All in all, Hunger Games was better. And even if the story is similar, HG took it and made it more than just spectacular ways to show teenagers killing each other. In any case, Joss Whedon already did the Vampire with a soul story. Does that mean no one else should?