Hood

Just finished reading this novel by Emma Donoghue. (Hood, that is.) It's quite the interesting read, all told from the point of view of Penelope (PenUmbra, PenUltimate, Just Pen), who just lost her lover of 13 years (Claire), who while riding on the back of a cab on her way back from the airport was in a car accident and died. The worst part? Though Claire and Pen lived together (with Claire's dad) they were not out, so she's forced to go through an almost secret widowhood.

The novel is set in Dublin, and I related while reading it for a myriad of reasons. Funnily enough I very quickly put myself in the place of the person that had passed away - Claire was this woman who traveled a lot, asked crazy "what if" questions. But our similarities ended there, and yet, I kinda related to her the most. The Novel follows Pen through a week - from the moment she finds out Claire's dead until exactly a week later when she gathers enough courage to sit in her own mother's kitchen with the intention of coming out. In the meantime, Pen treats us to her memories of Claire, we get to see how they met, how their love was such a coincidence in a way, the back and forth of their relationship, the on and off of those 13 years. Sad as it is, by the end of the novel everyone's with Pen - even I, a Claire person, and I love that Donoghoue doesn't go for the obvious when it comes to Pen "starting a new life without Claire," that she doesn't shy away from uncomfortable conversations with well meaning but misguided people.

I think, though that the main reason why I related to Claire, is because despite all of my "what if-fing," I have no desire to ever entertain the idea of my love dying... I didn't want to be in Pen's shoes, so I put myself as Claire, creating a distance between me and that pain so that I could look at it from afar and call it beautiful and talk about how amazing it is. I hope this is as close to that kind of pain I have to get to. I still recommend the book to others, though, because the pain and the writing ARE beautiful, and I think it makes you look within yourself, and within your relationship if you have one, in an intricate way that you may not have done so before.